What’s your motivation?

So, I was in class last week and the teacher shared a video called, The Thought Patterns for Career Success.  Lou Tice, the founder of the Pacific Institute presented the idea that people are motivated in two ways.

The first is called restrictive motivation.  This motivation is based on fear or the feelings that we have to do something or something bad or negative will be the outcome.  Often, it seems, that this type of motivation is externally driven and comes from another’s ideas, beliefs, or even their own desires that they want fulfilled.  Then there is constructive motivation.  Constructive motivation is the exact opposite of the other.  Constructive motivation come from an internal drive for success, based on our passion, our belief, and our desires alone.

I would bet that more often than not, the majority of us live our lives being motivated by the first and I would guarantee we find ourselves thinking that we are stuck, that we have been forced into these decisions and that we really don’t have any choice OR we completely have no idea that we do this, we may be completely oblivious to it OR finally, we just completely deny the fact that we have allowed  others to “motivate” us into the choices and decisions that have gotten us to where we are today.

I wanted to share, not to motivate you to do anything (unless of course you WANT to), but because I find awareness to be a powerful tool.  Awareness puts us back in the driver’s seat if we have been journeying in the passenger’s seat unknowingly.  Awareness puts us back in the place we belong and that is in control of our own life. Now, don’t get me wrong.  If you enjoy just being along for the ride, then do it!  If that is where your happiness lies, then stay there.  Lou Tice said, “There is only one thing you will ever HAVE to do and that is die.  Everything else is a matter of choice.  Remember though, do what you want but accept the consequences of your choices.”

One more question to throw at you…

How are you at motivating others?

Remember, just how you prefer to be in the driver’s seat of your life, they prefer to be in the driver’s seat of theirs.dreamstimefree_209136

 

 

 

Relationships

There has been chaos, anger, frustration and bitterness that have consumed my thoughts for quite some time now.  Not 24/7, but in waves.  It comes and goes, sometimes mild and then sometimes it comes as a sucker punch to the stomach, taking my breath away and at the same time causing excruciating pain.  What kind of situation would cause this kind of emotional upheaval, some might wonder.  The question is not what, but who?  These are feelings and emotions that rage when the thought of a “friend” comes to my mind.  How can this person be called a friend?  Why would I invest my time and energy into another that causes that kind of reaction?  Well, this hasn’t always been the case, so what has changed? Well, I have.

Here’s the reality and the awareness that has come to my mind.  When a person changes or starts to see or believe things differently than what they did in the past, it upsets and causes commotion to what was.  What “is” now is no longer what “was” and harmony is lost. It can cause pain and discomfort.  This pain is important, these feelings are valid and very real.  All of it has purpose. I may not know what the purpose is yet and it may take some time for me to figure it all out, but I am going to trust in the process. Does the thought of this friend rub me the wrong way? Yes, no doubt. Not always, but often. The reality is though, this is truly my problem and up to me to fix it.  Many say that when others rub us wrong or bug us, it is because we see something we struggle within ourselves in them. It is time to be honest with myself, take a good, long look in the mirror and start fixing the things that need to be fixed.

Sandpaper causes friction, heat, and often causes pain, but when it is done doing its job, it makes the masterpiece smooth and refined.

In this moment, I see clarity and I am grateful.